Research revealed that child-abuse cases rose 19 percent after cuts were made in funding for addiction-treatment programs. 55-99% of women who seek treatment for addiction report a history of childhood physical or sexual abuse.

I am so ashamed. No one understands the self-loathing I live with every day that this child is inside of me. Society condemns people like me. They see me as selfish and call me a monster for continuing to feed my habit and ignore the growing human being inside my womb. I have tried to stop, but I can't. If only people knew my story. I cannot live with the memories that haunt me when the lights go out at night. Memories of being beaten and shamed by my mother, memories of constant hunger pains, memories of moving from city to city to escape the watchful eye of teachers, neighbours and others who knew there was something not right about us. I believed that I was a mistake and that I would never amount to anything. I was not loved.

My journey led me to a place called the House of Sophrosyne. After my stay at the House, I found help through their Community Programs. They had a Nurse Practitioner that checked me out and got me started on prenatal vitamins and helped me find an Obstetrician. I was treated with respect and dignity and was accepted with open arms to this special place. I talked to a counselor who helped me realize that the past is only there to teach me lessons, not necessarily to be repeated. After the birth of my baby I will be attending Parenting in Recovery groups to help me balance being a Mom and the challenge of staying clean. I have hope for the first time in my life that maybe things will work out for me and my baby. I am not my Mother. It restored my faith in mankind that caring, compassionate people do exist.

I am a Mother, a survivor, a friend.
I am a pregnant Woman in recovery.

Approximately 72% of (addicted) women younger than 30 also have eating disorders.

I'm so hungry. I can't eat because I am fat. My Mother bugs me constantly to eat my dinner, but I can usually get out of that with creative excuses. Can't she see that I am repulsive? Can't she see that I am laughed at by all my skinny friends? My friend gave me a pill one day at school and it filled me with so much energy and took my appetite away. Instant love affair. What a rush watching the scale dip down a little bit each day. I have lied, stolen, and cheated everyone I know in order to feed my habit.

Who knew that my love affair would send me to the hospital? The doctors told me that I had done some serious damage to myself and that some of it was irreversible. I couldn't imagine how I would go on without my pills. They were my best friend. The social worker at the hospital sent me to the House of Sophrosyne to help me with my addiction. I don't understand why they think I have an addiction problem. I just don't like the way I look. In order to make my Mother stop crying, I said I would go. I knew that I had hurt her more than any daughter should.

Who knew that there were other women out there that feel exactly like I do? Who knew that someone could understand my thoughts and make sense of the garbled messages in my brain? I have learned that a number on a scale does not determine my self-worth. I have learned that I am a loving, fun, caring young lady with so much living to do on this earth. I have learned that people will love me no matter what size I am and that the pills that I thought loved me, were actually trying to kill me.

I am a Daughter, a dreamer,
a beautiful Woman. I am a recovering
addict with Anorexia Nervosa.

At least 1 in 10 children is born into a chemically dependent family. Parental addiction has long-lasting detrimental effects on the health and safety of children. We must mobilize to free children from the double jeopardy of substance abuse and child abuse, and interrupt the multigenerational pattern of both problems. The short-term costs may be high, but the long-term costs will be much higher if we do not act.

I met my now husband when I was sixteen. He was much older than me, he was much more of everything than me, I thought he was larger than life. He went to University; I went with him to parties. He was everything I wanted in a boyfriend. He was cool, popular, beautiful. I couldn't believe I was actually with him. I started partying with him and his friends. I wanted so badly to be next to him, every step, I drank and I drank some more. I never could keep up, but he thought I was funny, funny when I was drunk, and we stayed together. We got married when I was twenty. He was still the centre of the world, my world, and wherever he went I was there with him. When we were not drinking, not partying with our "friends", it was quiet. There wasn't fun, there wasn't happiness. So we drank, and then we found the fun in each other, we thought we were happy. We had children. Two beautiful little girls. I stopped drinking when I was pregnant; it was a very long nine months each time. The weight of the emptiness in my marriage was so heavy it was unbearable. I still wanted so much to be his "equal", I missed "feeling good". After the birth of my second daughter I drank more than I ever had, I still struggled with my old demons, and now I struggled with the pressure of never being a good enough Mother to my girls. I never felt "good enough", unless I was drinking. When my husband came home I was ready with drinks for him too, and we drank together in this sort of loud quiet. One morning my husband wasn't home, I didn't know where he was. I didn't wake up to get my youngest daughter from her crib, she was crying, she had been there for hours. My older daughter woke me up, finally, by screaming and shaking me and crying "Momma wake up, Momma, please, please Momma I'm scared, Momma you're scaring me". In that moment my heart broke into a thousand pieces and I knew I needed help. The House of Sophrosyne saw me through the darkest part of my life. The House has not only helped me, they have helped my daughters through their Children's programs. My husband and I are starting over; he sought help for his addiction after I found mine.

The House taught me that not only am I good enough, I am beautiful, I am funny.
I am a Wife, a Mother and I am an addicted Woman in recovery.

She is 39-55 years old, has post-secondary education and is employed full-time. She earns over $40k per year and is most commonly married or divorced. She has raised 3.7 children - not all of which were her own (blended families). She was referred to us by her family doctor and has been using her 'drug of choice' for over 15 years. Her addiction is to prescription pain relievers or tranquilizers/muscle relaxants.

"Drug Addict" - it's such an ugly term, it sounds, well, so dirty. It was impossible for me to think of myself in such terms. I had a picture in my mind of a Woman who stood on a street corner and put needles in her arm - that wasn't me. I am a professional, I have a university education, a career, two houses, designer shoes; I am a pillar of my community. I don't mix with unsavoury characters like dope pushers and dealers. I get my drugs from doctors and pharmacists.

I take pills, lots of pills, everyday. I don't take them to get high; I need them to feel normal. I had a good reason for taking them once but that was so long ago. Now I don't use them, they use me against my own will. I know that I can't stop because I've tried before and been really sick. Besides, the pills keep me safe from all the things I can't bear to feel and those things have just built up more and more over the years. Now I am afraid because they have stopped working for me; I can't take enough to cover the pain anymore - it's leaking out. I cannot under any circumstances let anyone find out - what would they think of me?

I overdosed this morning by accident. I forgot how many pills I had taken already when I took five more. Now my partner and my sister know the truth. I go for treatment at the House of Sophrosyne. To my surprise I am not judged there, I am empowered! I have learned that I was killing myself one dose at a time in exactly the same way the Woman who sells her body to support an injection drug habit. Looking good on the outside does not make you any healthier on the inside. I have also realized that I can walk through the pain of my past; I am much stronger than those pills ever let me believe.

I have a disease that is chronic, progressive and if untreated, fatal. My illness is nothing to be ashamed of or live in fear over and keep secret.

I am a successful, independent Woman making a difference in her community.
I am also a Woman recovering from addiction.

The number of women between the ages of 55-80 who are seeking help for addiction is growing exponentially. In 2006 there were 1 1/2 times as many 'senior citizen' admissions to the House of Sophrosyne residential treatment program as there had been in 2005. Currently these Women account for over 6% of our annual client population.

Things were just not the same since my Hank died. I just couldn't sleep after Hank passed, so my doctor gave me a prescription to help me sleep at night. I found the evenings were so lonely and I never wanted to be a burden to my children. I am so proud of my children as they are all successful and lead such busy, busy lives. Having a little drink after dinner seemed to help me unwind and I didn't think about Hank so much. Before I knew it, I was drinking two drinks, then four drinks, and then I would just lose count.

My children are so upset with me. They tell me to stop drinking because I am killing myself. I continue to drink and take my pills to help me sleep because now I just want to be with my Hank.

My children took me to a place called the House of Sophrosyne because they said they want me to live to see my grandchildren grow up. I was angry that they took me from my home filled with memories of Hank, but I could not stand to watch my children worry and cry about my condition, so I went. I learned that I still have a purpose in this life. I believe my Hank is very happy where he is and one day we will be together but for now I want to live and be a Mother to our children again. I have found my way out of the bottle and out of the self-pity and see a life filled with love, laughter, and chocolate chip cookies.

I am a Grandmother, a Wife, a Mother,
a friend. I am a recovering addict.